Tag Archives: warby parker

Situational Dressing: What to Wear to a Gallery Opening. I mean, you were an Art History Major for Christ’s Sake!

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New York City has a lot to offer in the culture department. There are the shows, the museums, the dry erase doodles your roommate leaves for you on the bathroom mirror… it is all here! Another cultural perk are the art galleries on the West side. Every Thursday there are new openings with free viewings (and free booze) featuring old/new artists and gallery owners showing off their goods.

Sometimes I forget to take advantage of this (Hadley does too, I am throwing her ass under the bus with me). I mean, while it seems like an obvious no-miss evening activity, sometimes a girl has to forgo the art experience just to make it back to her Ukrainian dry cleaners before they close.  Those ladies don’t like to be held up and the last thing I need is my $60 worth of Zara faux-silk blouses being held hostage another day. BUT when I don’t have an after work date with Anastasiya and her lovely mother Kateryna on 14th Street, I do like to try to make it over to Chelsea. I was an Art History major for Christ’s sake! We both were (Hadley drug further under said bus).  We both spent our college days (and dollars/parent’s dollars) working towards that oh-so-coveted Bachelor Degree in Art History. Those glossy, all color textbooks weren’t cheap either sister (but they do make lovely post-college coffee table books FYI).

Blah blah, yea yea, SO WHAT DO I WEAR? As always, before getting dressed I ramble into a slew of questions.  Most are not answered. Ever. Nonetheless, dressing for cultural events (gallery openings in particular) can be a little tricky:

“Is it going to be dressy? Do I need to look intelligent? Will they know I didn’t get my masters? I can throw in a remark about my double major to make me look smarter – scratch that - Communications makes me look stupider. Do they even care? Wait, who was it that welds those mobiles … CALDER … good reference to keep in mind. Brancusi is always a good one too. That great Bird in Space thing he did. Are they going to have food? All I have in the fridge is Mayo and a bag apples from Trader Joe’s, food would be great. I bet I’ll need a jacket, it is going to be freezing. What time is Hadley getting there, I know she said something about washing her hair before? Gotta make sure I am at least 2 free drinks deep before I talk to anyone, I will feel more artistically inclined by then, the descriptive adjectives will just be pouring out of me.”

After this 20 minute conversation I have with myself standing on my futon in an old sorority shirt from Freshman year and looking at my rolling rack (yes, I have to stand on my futon to get anything off my rack), I have come up with this little number. I look a little descheveled in the photos, but that’s artsy right? I also like to call this ‘Prints on Prints’ (did you laugh, it’s okay if you didn’t). Bad joke. There are more where that came from.

(Blazer: Silence & Noise, Top: Forever 21, Pants: Anthropologie, Shoes: Aldo, Bag: Clare Vivier, Glasses: Warby Parker)

I would say it would be a good move to wear heels and go with a blazer for one of these things. Look a little dressy but not boring – boring would be the worst of the worst for a gallery event. I decided to wear this little crop top (ignore the beer belly I’ve been working on since I was 18) - Fun Fact: This top used to be a dress that I bought at the Willow Bend Mall’s Forever 21 in high school – Jesus, I’m crafty. Wear something fun that can carry over into dinner and drinks afterwords. Love a good post-Damien Hirst Spot Painting viewing bottle of wine with fancy art people discussion.

The clutch is also clutch (told you more bad jokes were on the way). It dresses it up and also makes you look like you didn’t just change in the bathroom at work – which you did, but the world just doesn’t need to know. By the way, remember this photo? Yes, yes we do re-use images here at On Our Tab. We also re-use old take out boxes as tupperwear and wear our jeans at least 10 times before washing. We are poor.

Have a ‘Situation’ you need wardrobe advice on? Let us know. We need good material!

All Pictures were taken by this cool kid we know named Jordan Jacobson.

 





This one time I thought I was Jenna Lyons. (Read: Everyday of my life.)

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(Vest: B.B. Dakota, Brocade Top: J. Crew, Leopard Print Belt: J. Crew, Cargo Pants: Gap, Heels: T.J. Maxx, Specs: Warby Parker)

Photo Cred. Whaddup Pinterest.  Also, please respect that this was taken with a point and shoot because Molly and I are pathetic.  Also, I am purposefully trying to pose like that, though, I respect that cargo pockets do nothing for my thighs.  I can’t help it, I just have so much stuff to carry!

Situational Dressing: Work on Monday when all you really want to do is sit in the Village and look for Jake Gyllenhaal

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Before you ask, yes, I did see Jake Gyllenhaal in the Village a couple weeks ago.  Yes, it was the best moment of my life. And yes, I am a celebrity whore. So sue me! In my defense, as if I needed one, I have been head over heels in love with the man since 1999 when he so effortlessly portrayed the innocent and adorable Homer Hickam in October Sky.

Anyway, because I have a rent check every month that costs more than my undergrad degree, I can’t just casually sit around drinking coffee in the Village on Mondays looking for attractive celebrities to stalk. I go to work. But what should you wear to work? Walking around midtown doesn’t really answer that question. Those Downtown 6 train commuters generally don’t know what’s up in the fashion department (Evidence: Last summer I was wearing a kick ass turban – they were on trend then – and a woman forcibly stopped me to ask me why I was wearing such an ugly thing on my head). While I do value their opinions (not), I wouldn’t ask these people what to wear, ever.

(Glasses: Warby Parker, Blouse: Equipment, Vest: Theyskens’ Theory, Pants: Alexander Wang, Watch: Michael Kors)

I generally dress a little more untraditional at my office, but this outfit can transcend many a work environment.  My job allows me a little more freedom in attire, but I always make sure to dress appropriately. I leave my tube tops and booty shorts at home. For my birthday, my grandparents bought me these Alex Wang pants which are possibly the best gift any girl could ask for in 2012. The deli man below my building agrees with me on the pants.

As I have previously mentioned, I have a problem with Equipment tops and button downs. This is the first one I ever owned. I bought it on sale at a store in Kansas City last spring.  This was before anyone in the Midwest knew what they were and I reaped the benefits (it was $70 and I was the only one who owned one at the time - I am still kicking myself for not buying seven more). I also have to make an announcement: Theyskens’ Theory knows how to make work shit look cool. This is a little mullet sweater vest that I wear year round. Sometimes (if I get a little crazy) I wear it without a shirt under it.

I usually opt for heels, but last week I broke in some new 5 inchers and, quite honestly, my feet are bandaged and should not be on public display. I do posses a higher level of personal discretion, you should thank me. Flats are totally cool to wear, just please, don’t wear your Nikes with that pantsuit. Dear God! There are zero reasons for that (that goes for you too men of the city). I have these old Dolce Vita loafer things that are basically real life slippers and I kick it in these all around town. You should get some.  They rock. Mine are actually about to fall apart but God help me if I won’t see them through until the end. For better or for worse.

New grads, don’t let your office become a gateway to poor dressing and falling off the bandwagon. You are young, you are fun, and you can still shotgun a PBR like a champ at that office summer BBQ!

Pictures from mi amigo Mr. Justin Livingston

Swapping Closets: Molly is running late and Hadley is feeling catty

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Oh my god, we’re back again.  Bless BSB for those lyrics. They do so capture how I feel, on this here Wednesday, May 30th.  One week in, and we’re back for another closet swap.  Not only THAT, but we are one week into this here blog, and so far, so good.  Molly still likes me.  You people apparently think our antics are funny.  Or, at least people who have to think we are funny, like my mom, and also apparently, Mrs. Maxon.  (Thanks for reading!  Stanley Flowers forever!)

That being said.  Check this sweet shirt of Molly’s that I stole.  It should be noted it is in the “pajama top style” but is not actually a pajama top.  It should also be noted that wearing pajamas as real clothes is my number one goal every morning when I get dressed.  (Perhaps now is also the time to mention that the striped shirt I am wearing today at the office came from the pajama section of Old Navy.) 

(Shirt: The Reformation, Jeans: Target, Booties: Target, Necklace: Loehmann’s)

I obviously paired it with my leopard print jeans.  They are single handedly the greatest investment of my life.  I bought them at Target for a whopping $19.  The fact that I did not also get the brown pair still haunts me daily.  Honestly, I can’t even talk about it.  That and the fact I lost the 6th grade geography bee are two of the lowest moments of my life.

I know you are jealous — of both my jeans and my “athletic” thighs.  I know you are also jealous of my necklace from Loehmann’s.  Don’t worry, it dropped on my bathroom floor in November and two of the “diamonds” fell out.   I love it so much, I scrounged my bathroom floor for two hours to find them, saved them, brought them home in a plastic bag, and made my dad fix it with pliers on Christmas Eve so I could wear it to Midnight Mass.  Thanks for that, Richard;  you’re a real gem.  One day I will marry a man as awesome as you.  I will also require him to have a mustache just like yours. 

So, while I was going for…whatever look I was going for.  Let’s be real, I’d wear this to a bar and never get hit on. Then again, it isn’t a total wash because I wore lipstick.  Either way, Molly was going for awesome when she wore it.  That and looking really skinny.

(Jeans: Genetic Denim, Shoes: Calvin Klein, Specs: Warby Parker)

I remember when she bought these jeans at the Barney’s Warehouse Sale.  We grabbed drinks that night at the Bourgeois Pig and I swear she looked so skinny I wanted to feed her a cookie.  (Obviously a double chocolate from Subway — the best deal in Manhappening, 3 cookies for $1.)  If I were her, I would never take these jeans off my body.  Lucky for the world, I do not own them.  You can only wear wide legged jeans on so many occasions — unfortunately, my job is not one of them, and I like being employed.

Along with her Warby specs, Mollz also has enough wrist candy to lure unsuspecting children into her unmarked van.  (I can’t tell if this joke is inappropriate or hysterical.)  My favorite part is that she is wearing three watches all set to a different time.  We run on a schedule few others can follow.  And by few others, I mean, I have no schedule and am perpetually 15 minutes later.  I do what I can, people. 

I want you to know that if I tried to wear that many things on my limbs, I would look absolutely ridiculous.  I mean, straight bat shit crazy.  Molly looks cool.  There is a reason I’m the one who wears real pajamas in public.

All in all, I liked walking around wearing a silk coat of arms.  I felt just like Hugh Hefner — minus pretty much anything else that would make me feel like Hugh Hefner because he is 86 and I don’t own a sailor hat.