We have been eating lots of latkes lately. There were also jelly doughnuts, but we ate those too fast for pictures.
THERE IS A BABY LIVING INSIDE OF HER. ALSO, THERE ARE PEACE SIGNS ON HER DRESS WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH ONE OF THE WEIRDER THINGS EVER. ALSO. SHE HAS BANGS NOW. I CAN’T STOP TYPING IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I AM SO HAPPY. WILLS AND KATE FOREVER.
So Thanksgiving is over. Meaning my roommate chose yesterday morning to begin the month of constant Christmas music instead of her usual Nelly Pandora Radio while we get ready for work. I really only like the oldies – meaning Rat Pack Christmas exclusively. I will however accept Michael Buble. I may also allow a little N*Sync Holiday Album or that one Mariah song, but only when drinking.
Having said this and expressing my love for the classics, It has come to my attention that one of my favorite winter hits may or may not be a sexual molestation song. JUST SAYING. At work the other day my co worker and I started singing a muttled version of ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ that caught the attention of (annoyed the shit out of) people in the kitchen. Some brave soul approached us at our desks and asked us to stop. She then said, ‘You do know that song is like, for lack of a better term, a rape song.’ She left and then, BOOM, song was forever ruined.
It is true. It is horrible. We laughed for like twenty minutes about how awful it is, but she is right. Listen to the lyrics! A song like that would never be written in today’s world. Also, where were my/yours/America’s parents when this song came on the radio? Why didn’t someone say, ‘Hey, if you want to go home, JUST SAY NO’ or ‘If someone tries to force another drink down you, SAY NO’ or ‘When someone uses the lame excuse of bad weather for why you can’t leave his house, GET OUT.’ I mean, really? (With Seth Meyers). Really?
Sorry to ruin the holidays. Just call me Scrooge, but I am right on this, I know. I will say I still like it. And I am 100% positive it is the best song to sing a duet to in the halls of your sorority when getting ready for anything in the winter, especially a tacky sweater party that you and your best friend are going to be ‘creepy uncles’ for. It is the bomb! Here are two of my favorite renditions of the tune to cheer you up. They’re comedic so it’s totally PC.
I have long thought that November 20th is the greatest day of the entire year, solely because it is the day of my birth. I am one of those people who has absolutely zero shame about my own birthday. While, I love celebrating birthdays of others, it is my OWN birthday that really makes life worth living. Last night, at midnight, when I began immediately solo dancing around my apartment laughing hysterically from pure happiness, my boyfriend actually said, “You are like a small child when it comes to your birthday.” I took that as a compliment because lately people have been guessing that I am turning 5 years old than I am actually turning which I have attributed to my crows feet.
So, anyway, happy greatest day of all time! You’re all the best! Wahoo! Celebrate! Yay! Birthday! Cake for breakfast! Yippie! Etc!
PS. If this was an iPhone — you know I would be ending with at least 4,000 roughly emojis, which I have determined to be the sole mode of communicating on birthdays.
PPS. That picture was taken 5 years ago today. Hard to believe. And by hard to believe, I mean, WAHOOILOVEMYBIRTHDAYLET’SCELEBRATELIKEPARTYPEOPLE!